Firstly, we wanted to hear her opinion on what are some things any parent should do with their kids when going through a divorce. “Parents must reassure their children that the divorce is not their fault. They have done nothing wrong,” she shared with Bored Panda. While it might seem obvious, to the perspective of a child, the whole situation might seem confusing.
“Children must be assured that they will always have a mother and father who love them, even if their parents don’t get along as husband and wife. Children should be assured that they will be able to visit all grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.” Unfortunately, in this story, it would seem that the mother has taken steps to make it harder for the daughter to understand the father’s side of things.
This is an important consideration, as Marilyn Wedge had a very specific suggestion about this for other parents in a similar situation. “Most important: Parents should not say bad things about the other parent. This will cause the child internal conflict and emotional pain. They should always refer to the other parent respectfully. Parents should not have heated arguments in front of the child or teen.
In general, it’s good to keep the child in the loop, even if it seems like they are too young to understand what is going on. “Parents should explain custody arrangements clearly to the child, as soon as they know what they are, and answer questions as honestly as possible. If there has been an affair, children or teens should not know about this,” she added, indicating that the mother’s behavior was in many ways a red flag.
We also wanted to hear if this sort of situation, with a child attempting to cut contact with one parent is even normal. “It’s not really common for a child or teen to “take a side.” There are two situations in which they might. First, they might worry about the more vulnerable parent. They worry that the parent will be lonely or sad.”“Second, the child might take a side to manipulate a parent.