"I like to keep an open mind," the Boss says in response to my sigh of doubt – once more confusing the words"open" and"empty."An hour and a half later he's in Mission Control, bursting to tell us about what he's seen and heard."... make everyone's life easier, safer, clearer, or better ordered?" I suggest"...
"Yes, but we can use these metrics to do our work better. WE COULD SAVE MONEY!" the Boss says, exuding the sort of fervor you generally only see behind the drinks table of the People's Temple. "By finding ways to reduce manpower and cut jobs, you mean?" I ask, looking out his office window at the unsuspecting staff."I bet that'll be popular.""... and we've identified some areas of potential savings," the Boss tells the assembled IT masses."Our contractors have highlighted several areas where we can reduce overheads, and as a result the Company spend.
The damage is done, though, and the mood of the room turns as the staff can smell blood in the water."On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd say you're as popular as Clippy, Microsoft's Office Assistant.""It was probably just a strategic realignment of Microsoft's Company resources," the PFY suggests. "And not because everyone absolutely hated condescending suggestions.""Do we?" I ask.
"Ah. We've had a resignation," the Boss says, eyeing a handwritten note violently stapled to his door."No, no," I say."If my guess is correct, I think our former BA is not only resigning, but also inviting the Boss to investigate the state of his microbiome."
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