Internet dating is not for me. It turns me into a shallow, soulless cow

And so to every man who had made the effort to message me I sent profound apologies for wasting their time and wished them all luck. Internet dating is not for me, I explained. Because it turns me into a shallow, soulless cow.Yep, I didn’t like myself at all rejecting men on first glance, aware it is mere surface and the story lies beneath. I learnt many years ago that appearance means little when I am in love.

It seems I am a card-carrying, out-and-proud sapiosexial – and that just can’t be discovered with mere comments on a man’s Sunday morning rituals or a shared Spotify playlist.I have dated men in the past I was not initially physically attracted to, only to fall so deep I grew to see them as if they were Brad Pitt – in his dreams! I have been smitten by sweet, shy souls who only open up with trust.

You see, I don’t have a “physical type”. I am attracted to sharp brains and gentle, open hearts. It’s the bruises and the bumps that make people attractive to me. Their backstories and how they have come through them. The fears they face. The obstacles they overcome. The music they play air guitar to. The dreams that still dwell within.So when I had to select potential paramours on carbon-dated photos and kooky captions, I was lost.

The fact I flicked past so many potentially sweet men with good intentions looking for love on that dating app is not something I am proud of. So I won’t be going back on in a hurry. Not to say I won’t give it another try. But for now, I am relying on fickle fate when it comes to romance. Because in real life, you can’t swipe away real potential when it graces you with its unpredictable and powerful presence in all its guises. And if you do, believe me, an app won’t help.

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