CINCINNATI—Hailing the product as a major breakthrough in laundry technology, the detergent brand Tide announced Thursday that its top-selling line of household products now includes a guy who comes into your home and licks the stains off you.
“We at Tide are proud to introduce Greg, our latest weapon in the war against those pesky spills and splashes,” read a press release that accompanied the product, explaining how Greg’s patented stain-fighting saliva and ultra-absorbent tongue work to obliterate even the toughest, most set-in stains. “Just yell out, ‘Greg!’ and he’ll come on over and get to work. Whether it’s coffee, wine, dirt, or blood, he’ll lick it all up.
Don’t tell me there is no good jobs out there for qualified people. I’m sure it’s someone dream job
When I read the title on the notifications tab, I thought that it meant that an outgoing tide had revealed a dark secret of the past. Now, I wish it had.
Tide will have to put out a safety statement after Tiktok invents the Tide New Guy challenge.
Make sure he has the Tide logo on his shirt. There are some wannabes out there free-lancing.
Clean-up on white dress shirt! 🗣️📢
New Fear Unlocked