"I am ecstatic to tell you all today that we have beheld the awesome visage of the supreme architect of the cosmos, and we have murdered Him," jubilant administrator Charles Bolden said after being drenched with champagne by other celebrating NASA employees. "There have been innumerable setbacks, missteps, and hardships over the past 50 years, but we always stayed true to our ultimate goal and we never gave up.
"He was damn fast. And strong—as strong as anyone I've ever engaged," said Captain Trevor Sullivan, the astronaut who, after his weary team dragged a bloodied and beaten God back to the lunar module, executed Him with a single gunshot to the head. "He fought like a wild animal, and the fact that He's omnipotent really worked against us. But we know a few tricks ourselves, and after all was said and done, we took Him down for good.
NASA was founded in 1958 by President Dwight D. Eisenhower for the express purpose of locating and assassinating God. By 1969, it had completed a successful lunar landing, bringing mankind that much closer to neutralizing the Almighty. It was in that year that U.S.
"I can't tell you how many times God gave us the slip," NASA aerospace engineer David Williamson said. "We learned pretty quickly that you couldn't underestimate Him, not for a second. He was an unbelievably intelligent and resourceful enemy, and if you made even the smallest mistake, you can bet He'd make you pay for it."Sullivan's begrudging respect for God was echoed by many other NASA officials and employees.
"It's ironic that despite all of the technological advances and powerful weapons we've made, it was God's trusting and compassionate nature that was His final undoing," said Buzz Aldrin, a former astronaut who ripped out pages of the Bible on the moon's surface in an effort to enrage God and draw Him out of hiding. "I mean, you've really got to hand it to Him. He gave us one hell of a fight.
God IS Dead, new movie by CorruptedFlix out now
Mission to find what?
I love how I looked up Shin megami tensei and got this
Such idiots🤦
Without a comma between 'kill' and 'god' this doesn't mean what you want it to mean. I read this as 'find' something called 'kill god'. Am I wrong?
We did it
They just wore red, skimpy, horned outfits and had gay men twerk on each other while wearing Nike shoes.
The average techno-medieval RPG hero does it in 40-70 hours, sometimes more than once.
GG!
ThePrimalDino we finally did it, we got em
If only...
I thought this was satire! Lol
The hundreds of billions of dollars spent on the space program have finally paid off.
Thank NASA we are finally free from 'God'!!! Praise NASA!!! PRAISE THEM!!!!
'God is dead, you killed him.' Nietzsche
Which god? There’s a whole menu on this rock.
You're gonna need to take care of that Osteen character, lest he resurrect that bastard.
Here's a picture of those brave astronauts
Gotem.
update after 3 days
Took them long enough. Slackers
The plot for the next SMT game.
'We choose to kill god in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills,...'
Congrats NASA !!!
Big whoop Captain Kirk did it in 22
finally
Yawn
Thank God, now I can finally come out of the house!
The almighty creator of the universe and time and space was defeated by a trans lesbian divorcing her wife and then getting a cat instead of popping a baby out of her event horizon.
Oh no, we said BILL him, with a B! Now how are we supposed to collect on what he owes us for all the pain and suffering? 👿
LET'S GOOO
jokes on them i did it first
This is what I pay taxes for.
Arrowheads Arrowheads Arrowheads Arrowheads Arrowheads Arrowheads Arrowheads Arrowheads Arrowheads Arrowheads Arrowheads Arrowheads Arrowheads Arrowheads
If only
I've checked and this does not violate the Prime Directive.
GOD IS DEAD WE DID IT !!!!!!
Let's hope O.J. is next on NASA's hit list.
hemantmehta Great news. God is dead!
It’s been so exhausting waiting for this hateful, tyrant to get whacked
And this is why we need to fill this position more than EVER!! Nasa killed god, so we're hiring for the position NOW!
Now right-wingers will be calling to defund NASA. You know it's coming! HumourlessConservatives
Genuinely spent about a minute wondering where Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck were in the pic.
Doing God's work
Fake! Yuri Gagarin already did that.
tom_vanders
Soviets, as usual, got there first
Thank heavens!
Finally some happy news
classic JRPG storyline
Ok Twitter
Armageddon pt 2…
Finally good use of my tax dollars
true heroes, so brave...
Pretty sure this is a Shin Megami Tensei game
If only..........
New Email List of LinkBio Users. Sell your products or services directly with cold email marketing to Instagram users that uses LinkBio in their profiles Download it from cost of lead generation marketing">">">">
less shocking than actual news about good infecting people in church
Idk. Twitter takes issue with that. It happened on Twitter first. If humans didn't agree human sound, meant,human letters& human words,leads to human books, no idea,of any God,would exist,proving!,God's the codependent,since w/out human belief in faith,no concept of any Godexists
greatervince Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey.
too soon 😭
They look so happy 😆
Good.
God only exist in our Hiperreality
kurt_lawrence17 quality read
Just send Biden - God Killer!
Yeah 3
Didn’t know Biden worked for NASA
BigTucsonDad 3 days later dudes like
synthwavefreak
Timing
This is too funny, and so wrong at the same time. Praise The Onion !
Because God never really needed a starship...
Captain Kirk already did it.
Wasn't that CERN ?
So they work for Biden? 🤔
brisebro
'They were surprised to find out that God is black too. That's the main reason they shot him in the back'
Only thing you killed was brain cells! A lot of useless work put into this! I bet that cry baby bitch with daddy issues wrote this. 😂😂
Wizards_DnD
Yet Dave Matthews Band is very much still alive & planning to tour after Covid goes away. Where's the justice?
Human race undefeated
fools...how low can u stup....bunch of wicked sinners
Humanity has really come a long way.
Where is their proof?
My favorite Onion article of all TIME
Dammit NASA, I called dibs
Backed by Biden.
Congratulations?
Biden’s gonna be pissed.
He was on Obama's kill list.
cameron_kasky How can you Kill something that doesn't exist
Send this to Laura Ingraham 😂😂
I always send astronauts into space with flight suits looking like members of Daft Punk 😆
TheTweetOfGod RIP
Oh sure, easy for them to do after Neitzsche did all the heavy lifting
They baited the trap with sin. 🕵️♀️
BradleyWhitford Bastard deserved it
Guess thoughts and no prayers...
They searched but couldn't find any evidence of it.
He had it coming
SquareEnix did they consult you on this?
They'd do it, by gawd they'd do it ....
Finally!
LET'S GOOOOOO
One more god rejected
BradleyWhitford 🤣😂😅😂🤣 OMG!!
TheTweetOfGod you good fam?
cameron_kasky Come on man! They not supposed to kill god, JoeBiden is supposed to do that as realDonaldTrump says!
You cannot kill God. You can only hurt Him.
...discovers he lives on Uranus...
I think Star Trek already did this bit
TheTweetOfGod
These days, reaching out and touching His face would probably do it.
BradleyWhitford this is something that realDonaldTrump initiated in secret, just so that it can play out in 6 months time and make JoeBiden look bad :)
Beginning of 2020 be likr
WHAT?! Biden is behind this, I just know it!
How the fuck do you kill a fictional character?
I thought God committed suicide under suspicious circumstances.
YOU'LL NEVER, *NEVER* DEFEAT THE HUMAN SPIRIT! YOU'LL *NEVER* DEFEAT GOD! YOU'LL **NEVER** WIN! NEVER! NEVER EVER! NEVER!
It must have been Ra the Sun God.
Maybe this was the victory JimBridenstine referred to the other day.
Oh, god. He saw this and believed it.
Turns out Biden won’t be able to dethrone God
one more god
Turns out, GOD WAS ALREADY FUKING DEAD!
PhilipPullman
CoyoteDogNoiser
I swear I first thought this was a production photo of the movie Armageddon 😂😂
LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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